TO: Festivants
FROM: Festivus International
DATE: 12/24/15

Greetings Festivants! I hope everyone had a wonderful Festivus. This is just a gentle reminder to file your Airing of Grievances & Feats of Strength reports with Santa Claus before midnight your time tonight. These reports will be used by Santa to make final adjustments to his naughty/nice list.

Of course, your grievances/feats reports will be cross-referenced and cross-checked with 2015 incident reports submitted by Santa’s elves. (Not to be confused with any reports submitted by independent elf organizations.) Keep in mind all adjustments are made at Santa’s discretion.

As you know (if you have been reading my memos), Feats of Strength have been given more weighted value this year than in previous years. So if you lifted any especially heavy objects or wrestled any large animals (and won) in 2015, be sure to include that information. If you wish to make a rough calculation of the impact of your grievances/feats on your naughty/nice ratio, this year’s value charts may be found in the reference manual updates I sent out in June.

Happy New Year,